“Modeling” is a great strategy to stop unwelcome comments in their tracks.

Pam’s brother Bill was manipulative and undermining. Pam had distanced herself from him for years. Never the less, he was family, and there was an occasion coming up where she had to relate to him.

Pam was tired of being put down and rather than fall back into old patterns, she wanted to relate differently.

When we began to brainstorm various new ways to deal with him, she was stumped. I asked, “Who do you admire that would handle this situation just the way you’d like to?” Without hesitation, she said, “Walter. Walter would look Bill in the eye and laugh, then say, “Really?” with great exaggeration”.

That was it. I guided her to visualize it several times, then off she went.

Next session, she came in beaming. She had done exactly what she planned, and it was a success! Bill’s eyes widened in surprise, then sheepishly shut up!

Pam felt empowered and ready to move on to another subject.

*This is a great example of Concept #4 - see past blog:
5 Concepts To Live Life Well