When Bill first walked in my door, he said, “My current counselor and I are “stuck” trying to figure out what’s wrong with me; I have so little confidence. I really want to move on. Can you help me?”
He felt “stuck” in his career and didn’t have the confidence to “move up” even though he had the expertise, ability, and desire.
After listening closely to what was going on, I suggested, “Maybe there’s nothing wrong with you at all. In what types of situations do you feel low self-esteem?”
He said, “I’m not confident at work. I’m “playing the game” but don’t really respect the management. I’ve gone along with some important things that I don’t feel good about…I ‘m not being true to myself.”
The key awareness for him was that when he was being true to himself, he had plenty of confidence. It was only when he wasn’t being honest that he lost confidence.
This was an opportunity for him to build his confidence by changing his behavior to be “true to himself”. And that’s what he did, and it worked!
Confidence is not just having the experience of doing something well, or praise from others, it’s about listening to your inner voice, being true to yourself, and KNOWING that you’re doing what you believe in.
If you’d like more support in building your confidence, call me and let’s talk.